Friday, April 29, 2016


Latly it has been happening alot latly. I will be so tired by the time I get to the rendering process I will fall
asleep During it . The last few episode that I have done hours long I always fall asleep eaither during rendering or during upload.

But thats not just it eaither doesnt help when your darn NEIGHBOR (FRIEND) knocks on your door late at night .GAWD I HATE THAT. they know I work around the clock and not to bother me . it screws up my sleep.I did text them and let them know not to do it again.

There is only 1 reason why I better be woken up from my sleep and f thats only if its an emergency Eaither wise people need to leave me to hell alone and let me sleep . Usuaully if someone wakes me up and I havent sleep long I am a real b*tch but who isn't?

I value my sleep. Just {Venting } Guys I just got up after going back to sleep once already after the stupid
door knocking. Now my Episode 4 Enforcer is in 2nd stage of rendering.  I am sorry for all the slugglishness.
Just been so tired with all this stuff happening with court, and then the stupid person knocking on my door when they know better.

Sometimes I wish I had someone living with me so i didnt have to be by myself. so i could share my thoughts
and just have someone to talk too. To be quite honest I just miss being loved and being in love. But I know right now My work is more important . so i gotta work harder so i can make money so i can support my ownself and be independent.

gawd I hate it sometimes. But I know this is what is best for me and my future. I have been looken for a second job. So i can have one with steady income and the other I Havents A clue on. I still haven't made it yet to Payout on YouTube.

Sometimes I feel like I ain't ever gonna get there even with all the hours I have been working . But I ain't gonna give up. I am happy with what I do. I am sure sooner or later it will pay off. I am patient and I have been.

Thats another thing why I am tired is because I have been recently going back to bootcamp to help me
and to see if there is anything I am missing on my channel. So far that I see I am doing what I am suppose to
do. But This Studying stuff is killening me . {{Not Literally}}

I seriously Don't Know if I am gonna go back to the next bootcamp. But you know how I said that the last
time. I ended up going back anyways. So knowing me I probabley will be going back to it again.

I Just thought I would let you guys know how I have been feeling and what has been happening so you guys are not in the dark. I am so sorry there has been going on. I know For sure the Court thing will be over with on May 5th. So after that I Won't have court anymore.

Alls I can say is THANK GAWD ! I am so tired of seeing courtrooms and all. But not only that I will finally be able to relax and not have to worry what is going on. I am the typically type that worrys alot and alot about everything. I can't help it . It is in my nature.

I know for one thing I have been worrien alot more About  if my kids are gonna come and find me or not when there older. But I stay positive in my head and I know they will. Lately there have been some negative
people around me So you Know how that works. Negative people equals they drag you down. I need so much to surround myself with positive people .

Which I have been but there is always that one person who has to start up . Unfortunately For this one
Individual I can't rebel against because there apart of the system with the state. If you know what I mean.
So I gotta be nice and all or they wont let me see my son.

Hey for one thing you can say I got respect for them although they have none for me. But thats okay because
Karma is a b*ch and whatever they do to me will just come around and hit them in the a** sooner or later with another case or whatever.

But Anyways I got one more visit with my son next wednesday and then it is over with the courtcase the very next day . Next Wednesday and Thursday is the last time I will be in a visitation center and a courtroom.

Unless I ever get married then i gotta go get my marriage license there and all But Otherwise nope I wont be
seeing a court room ever again.

Alls I know Is I am gonna miss my son very much. Just like I miss all my other children. This is gonna hurt like a b*tch since I know what is happening. It is gonna be very hard next week in visitation. For one thing I am gonna give him lots of huggies and kisses . I am gonna keep letten him know through out the visit that mommie loves him. I already have been doing that.

I just hope he remembers. I know I can remember from 2 years old and back when i grew up .I just hope he does too so he can come and find me and also know that no matter what mommies loves him Despite what the system trys to tell him.

I know my kids are smart and I know without a doubt there persistent like me when they want something.
That is a good trait to have it helps you in alot of fields of life. But Anyways since I have been talken about all this now the 2nd part of rendering is done . so Now i am gonna upload it to YouTube now.

For those who actually take the time and watch my videos thoroughly thank you I appreciate it. it means alot to me since i work my a** off and it is my all I put into it.I hope with all this sh*t going on you guys can hang in there and understand sometimes why videos are late and all. I don't do it on purpose. Shortly it should get alot better since I dont have to be up early anymore on wednesdays after (May 5th) .

So i will be able to go longer and ever more around the clock with working and all.

Anyways I am gonna get going and go upload the Episode 4 of Enforcer.




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