Monday, June 13, 2016

Orlando's Shooting and how it has effect me Alot! Please take a look My Sweethearts ♥♥♥♥♥♥



Hey Family I wanted to let you know why everything has been unstable with my videos being released and everything. All's I KNOW right now I am haven a terrible time dealing with this situation that just happend
With Orlando's mass shooting. My One guyfriend was suppose to go that night club but luckily he got sick and didn't go. I dont think him getten sick is a good thing eaither .Family and People let me clarify that. What I am saying is If he wasn't sick he could've been one of those causality's in the mass shooting or even  I could've been if i went. Thank goodness for my car not working.  But For those who lost there Lives in this shooting.... THE HATE HAS TO STOP....  our country needs to be fixed.  There needs to be more love not hate.

Trying to work now is difficult I can't even think right. I don't even know how to process what just happend. As I am still confused from My own Situation that happend in September when my son was taken away and put into foster care due to my Ex-fiancee who was arrested with 12 charges . In which i wont go into detail about because it is personal and I am not ready Just yet to explain what happend. Plus I AM pretty sure my lawyer would have a hissy fit if i did right now. Like the saying goes there is a time and place for everything and right now is not the time to explain it.

But as i am still confused from that and then Haven this happen the month after things were finallized in court with my son being adopted out because it was the right thing to do ( plus there was no way for me to win since the opposite side was gonna make it impossible and unbearable and probley use my orientation againest me ) that is just a guess on that orientation part. but i didn't want to see what would happen so i did what was best for my son.

As you can see I am still hung up on the fact the lose of my kids and now I got more sh*t to deal with now because NOW It is effecting my orientation. IN which i wont clarify for safty purposes. Yes I am scared and I ain't gonna lie. Just to let you know In lot of my pictures you do see me smiling but inside I am crying all the time. TO be honest I am not that happy at all. It is like the picture you see on Angelic Night  ( me with a mask)  I am using that as a metaphor so you can understand how I feel and to better understand me as we are FAMILY. The mask hides  my inner most precious thoughts , the person that is hurt from all the caos that has been in my life. The only way to protect myself is to front myself as a happy person who seems to be okay in this HATRED WORLD.

My tears On Camera are real, My Life storys are real, You do as a family get to see the real me and that hasn't been a lie. If you notice I express myself alot in my videos and I tell you what I think ,how i feel and show you emotions that I normally would try to hide. But I Am tired of hiding them. I feel comfortable with you as a family to share how I feel and show you it is okay to Express our Fears, Emotions and more.

I want you guys to be Strong . I know it is hypocritical for me to say it since i feel like a wimpy person inside and scared. but i feel my words do help those who need help and that my voice is heard by those who really need that extra push to push forward. I believe I have some impact that does help people. As I do love everyone as a family . EQUALITY. I do love helping people when they need help and I hope in return they feel the same. We can only wish for the best.

I know I said I would be open and Honest .. And I am. I will keep on trying to do my best for our family sakes. I will still be working and releasing videos but it may lag a bit since I am effected by this situation at hand. I wanted to be honest with you on that . I have been trying to find the right words and understand what is going on and being able to tell you . It has been differcult for me. I am sorry for being so closed up and confusing at times. but this is the only way I know how to deal with things such as these. Please Keep at look out for a video on this topic. As I am gonna make one because It is dear to my heart and very important to me.

Thank you And I love you guys with all my heart and I miss you bunchs.

Sincerely With Lots OF Love


Evolve Episode 4 Rendering And Tips IS NOW RELEASED!!!!! Sweethearts Take A Look ♥♥♥♥♥♥

HELLO FAMILY !!!!!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥


Evolve Episode 4 Rendering And Tips Is Now Released!!!! Now you can see what kind of hell I go
through for 1 Video. This is another reason why I do 1 at a time. I am still trying to figure out how to get more done in 1 sitting but it still remains an issue. Just When I Think I got something solved I am wrong.
But Hey no one is perfect and I am far from being Perfect. So Take A look Sweethearts and Enjoy The Roller Coaster with me. You Also Get To See {Dance Of Death} in The MAKEING Process Alittle bit.

Evolve Episode 4 Rendering And Tips

In This Episode I Give you The Essentials Of YouTube and show you what it is like to go through The Rendering Process , and all of its nightmares leading up to the release of a video.No ONE EVER said YouTube was ever gonna be easy and I am gonna be the first person to tell you that. it is alot of work. Your Effort, Time And Efficiency and you Just being you is all that is needed.  You Are Special Just the way you are. You don't need to change who you are Just to be a Youtuber.

Here is Just some Topics We Go Over As I believe Knowledge is power. so here are SOME topics we go over And Links To Our Rendering & Editing Friends:

1.Tips on Hidden Objects Games,Game Developers,Rendering
2.Reviewing Your Video
3. Knowing your Links and maken sure they are there
4. Notifying your Subscribers.
5. monetization AD's  :: Whats works and doesn't::
7. Secondlife
8.Double Checking Your Work

While You Watch this I AM Editing the Project Evolve Editing Video . Which is a little bit Shorter then The Rendering one . At Least for now it is . If I See something that I need to add I will.

I love you guys with all my hearts and I miss you Bunchs .


Sincerely With Lots Of Love♥♥♥♥♥♥


Evolve Episode 4 Rendering And Tips

NEW ON VIDEOS .Take A Look Sweethearts♥♥♥♥♥♥

YOU HELLO FAMILY !!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥


Well here is some news on the videos . Project Evolve  Rendering And Tips Ep.4 is now in rendering
phase 1.

ETA IS : 1 HOUR and 17 Minutes
Video Length : about 56 minutes Long

I really hope you do enjoy it. You will see excactly what goes on during the rendering process 1 and 2 . uploading process, Youtube Processing and more. There is alot in this you get to see. Plus there is alot of tips for you guys as well. I really go into depth in this video plus show you everything. This is the first time you get to see what happens before a video is actually released.

The Editing Video ,Makeup Tutorial are still in editing. I Got alot of videos to Edit. SO My Main Focus is to get them done First Before I can do More Videos.

I love you and I miss you a whole bunch. I am gonna go take a nap. I love you guys with all my heart.


Sincerely With Lots of Love