Well Hello 😇Sweet Angels Of Mine!😇
Well Last Night was one Hell of a Night . My Heart💖 Began to have issues💓 In which my LA Boss Began to panic but tryed not to as I clinged on to him with worry and fear of what was going on.
Ny Boss Kept talken me through the pain while Boca Raton Boss was trying to get me to go to the ER in which I declined because I knew excactly what was going on with my heart.💓
My NY Boss Called me Stubborn but Strong willed woman. he told me " you dont always have to be strong it is okay sometimes to know when to quit and ask for help. your not alone you got us here honey. we care and love you very much. you dont have to suffer. let us help you"
I told him" hell no .Plus I knew what was going on and I would let you guys know when I was ready to go and if I need too.Alls it is a bubble. its happend before" They were confused on what I meant but I Explained what all it was. Shortly after that I felt sick and ofcourse I got sick.
My LA Boss didn't leave my side for one second. My Ny Boss held my hand while my boca raton boss was panicking and pacing. Every 5 secs he asked if we were gonna head to the ER. Even during the time I was getten sick I told him HELL NO. See even in sickness I am strong. Dont let me fool ya I am stronger then hell at times when people think I am not. I will admit I did get wore out toward the end of being sick. After I was done I brushed my teeth ,gargled and everything. My NY Boss got me some ginger Ale while LA Boss made sure I was warm and comfy . Boca Raton Boss kept starring at me with worry .I Kept telling him everything is gonna be fine and I would let him know if we were gonna go. But I knew I was fine.
At one point I had my Boca Raton Boss come sit by me on the bed and I just Glidedmy hands through his hair to calm him down which did work .Plus he fell asleep right by me holding my hand. Not too much later I feel Asleep listening to LA Boss's heart, while I was fast asleep on LA Boss's chest he fell asleep the sametime I did. then Ny Boss fell Asleep at the bottom of the bed nuzzling my knees. Of Course As soon as I woke up this morning I Had my Boca Raton boss starring at me asking How did I feel and if I needed anything.
Ofcourse I asked him to make me some toast and to get me some ginger ale. While he did that LA Boss was still asleep so I just listened to his heart some more and his breathen which made me drift off to nappers aka sleep again. NY Boss was still nuzzling my knees. Moments Later I got woken up by BocaRaton Boss and I had some toast and Ginger Ale.
Then after all that we all got up brushed our teeth,gargled and the whole nine yards. Later On We drove back to my Main Home Davenport and found out my Ex fiancee had caused some rukus with my address I lived at. ( there will be a video on this and will be uploaded asap.but it wont be fancy or anything it is just gonna be a quick 10 min or so upload without music or anything) Since I got to prepare for a May or maynot be move.
Ex fiancee Drama and Possible Move
I wont know until monday what hell I am in for . *shakes head* So like I thought would happen has happend and now I got more DRAMA WITH MY EX FIANCEE again. 🙄
T shit happends. My Ex fiancee said he would fix what he messed up. AND HE BETTER because I DONT need to lose my home or have to move.
I swear Everytime I try to help people I get screwed over some how. I just dont get it. 🙄
But I know he will fix it as I will be maken sure of it everytime I call him and his Officer.
I dont play games when it comes to my home. What I wish is I could have My Tommy Now that would be nice right about now. I know he would protect me and all. ( sad thing he only exists in my blogger story)
Sometime I wish My Blogger Story was real.Its the only thing that makes me happy anymore Besides my Boss's .My Boss's and Blogger Story is the only thing keeping my happy Anymore. I mean My family members keep going in and out like a rotating door on our channel which does bother me. I Just wish People would stay with our family and Quite Hugging the huggie button then unhuggie it and leaving me.
I guess not all people like me much But thats fine its not like I expect anyone to understand me. My whole world is upside down and is in hell again. Maybe I am not suppose to make any friends or have anyone in my life. ☹ I dont know Alls I know is I am upset. I just wish people would stay apart of our family on our channel. I hate when people keep going in and out. One thing that motivates me is to know I have someone in my life and to me my family on our channel makes me happy too.
3 things that keep me happy ,motivated and still going is My Boss's , My Blogger Story and Our Family on our channel. Not necessary in that order. I already lost alot of things in my life. my Real family is dysfunctional ,and separated.My kids are gone. I am still single and YES I am still bitchy about it. I am tired of everything that can go wrong is going wrong. I haven't gotten 1 break yet in my life where something goes easy. I am still broke (meaning no money). I still struggle with my disorders and I still wonder sometimes If I will ever find my True Love Despite all the shit I have been through.
I do think sometimes Love pushs me through my worst moments and also hope. My boss's help me alot and .... them taken care of me as they have been makes me keep hope that men are still decent out there in the world. I know sometimes I can get pretty upset and put all men in the same boat.But it is only that moment of anger that does it. When that happends I just look at my boss's and read my blogger series and know that there are guys out there like the ones I write about or the ones who take care of me.
I know all men are not the same. I just wish the decent ones would show up . It would nice to be there friends and all. Yes you are reading that right . My feelings are changing and they are opening more up to my uncertain feelings . I wanna know what it is that I am Missing. I know when I am with my LA Boss listening to his heart I do wonder What It Would be like to listen to someone elses heart and fall asleep in there arms. Although Now I Am getten that panic feeling since I wrote that. So No need that feeling. Maybe I Just will stay with my LA boss's arms and listen to his heart beat.
He does seem to have a soothen heartbeat.Alls I know is I get all panic with my uncertain feelings.I can write my feelings like I do with my blogger series and I can nuzzle into my LA Boss's chest listening to his heart to fall asleep and I have no problems. When I am around all 3 of my boss's I have no problems. But when I get around another guy who i dont know or am uncertain about I panic and put a mask on right away ( sorta speech).
It probley because I dont wanna get hurt and plus Because I Dont know who they are or what they are capable of. I do know That right now I am not to happy with the trying to find the right woman for me.Its seems most women I met always want you to have a steady job ,income , doesnt want alot of kids and be very independent. Which makes me run far away from them.
I want a person who wants lots of kids like me (meaning no number at all). I want Someone who will support me and take care of me. someone who will do the samethings My boss's do for me. I want the samethings like I keep writing in my blogger series.I want someone who will follow the True Blood Ring Ritual and do that for me since NO ONE EXCEPT 1 ex gf of mine has done it for me.
The Link to True Blood Ring Ritual --> True Blood Ring Link:
I dont care what others say. I am different I am not Independent and I am proud to say it. I am
co-dependent Person. I am a home maker and Thats what I love to do most. I rather Take care of my spouse and our kids ( Cooking ,cleaning, and more for them) then to be constantly empty ,bitchy, souless, uncontent,lost and more. I love our channel and even whenever that day comes along I wanna still work and do what I do now .... alls I want is not to be alone. I wanna actually know what love is instead of always guessing, or being heart broken, angry, sad, envy and others things.
It days Like these when I wish I could have someone to tell That I LOVE them or show affectionate to them. I dont ever think about myself and I dont know how many people notice that. Even now I am always putten myself as Number 2 to something else. anyways..... 😐☹
I am gonna go cuddle my boss. I need to calm down before I cry again. I am so emotional latly more then usual. To Be honest I Am always Emotional and very sensitive. I dont mind it ... its just other people in this world who ....are 😈meany pants👖.. But thats fine At least I got my boss's ,my blogger series and our family on our channel.
yes I AM Upset. I am going through alot again. 😐 its difficult.I am so hoping all of this gets fixed on monday because I dont wanna move again. I just wanna settle down in one place and pay monthly not weekley. I hate liven this unstable life . I want a stable life with a special someone who I can love and they can love me hopefully. .... ya know what I mean....
I wish I Had my Tommy. I wish I could have a stable life and feel secure again.
I wish I could find my True Love....
I miss Getten Huggies🤗 and I miss getten kisses😘💋. It sux not haven any affection. Whoever sez that not have affection and being alone is good CAN GO FLY A KITE AND BE heartless by themselves.
I rather be heartfelt and heartwarmth. I Rather be sensitive ,compassionate like I am .
I rather be me then anyone else because I love me and who I AM. I Just wish I would find
someone who felt the sameway about me ...ya know accepting all of me and have alot of things in commen and want the samethings as i do. I wanna share my life with someone. Just dont know who it is because I haven't found them. plus I gave up looken and I hope they find me to be honest.
I hope someday someone finds me. They usually say when you give up looken for the one they find ya...so hopefully they will find me.. Because I just want my other better half. I want to be complete and not souless. And yes I want my soulmate where ever they are. Because I know when that day comes we would complete eachother. which would make me happy. but until then I will wait and be a cute 👻 ghost until then. 😆🤣😉😊
I will update you sweethearts more Later in another letter. I love you.😍😘💋💋💋💋💋💋🤗❣💓💗💕💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💟💌💝
Anyways I Will most likly fall asleep Like I have been So I Just wanted to let you know a head of time. I LOVE YOU SWEETHEARTS!💞
I miss you alot and I Love You Alot. I will see you Sweethearts In our next Letter. Gonna go listen to my LA Boss's heart beat to calm down and fall asleep.😊😉😍😘💋💋💋💋💋💋🤗💕💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💟💌💝
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😊🌺💐🌹Could My Wish's be happening without me knowing? And Updates::Vacation Edition:: 🌹🌺🌷😍😘💋🤗💞🍾🥂🛫🏖🏝😎https://dancingsouless.blogspot.com/2017/02/could-my-wishs-be-happening-without-me.html