Friday, February 3, 2017

Morning PTSD ATTACK and Separation Anxiety WakeUp Call Part 1 of 2 Letter ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿพ๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜Ž


Well Hello ๐Ÿ˜‡SweetAngels!๐Ÿ˜‡๐ŸŒน๐Ÿพ๐Ÿฅ‚

Well I Wanted to Write you this wakeup letter because of what happend when I woke up.
This wont be an everyday letter thing. I wont be writing a letter everyday when I wake up unless
I had one of these situation happen or if something has changed. I always wanna keep you sweethearts informed whats going on.

Anyways when I woke Up I woke up in the middle of a PTSD Attack Again. This is like the 1st time it has happend this week. Last Week It happend 2 times. First Time It happend I woke up I could've sworn I heard gun shoots going off and I felt paralyzed with fear. The Second Day it happend and second time I heard banging on windows and doors. This week and 3rd time it happend when I woke up I could've sworn I heard someone Arguing and knocking on my door. It was like almost living back in my old home with my parents when I was a kid.

All's I know Is I woke up to that and while I was waking Up Apparently I was screaming "help me" so loud my Boss came running in and tryed to Calm me down while trying to wake me up while trying not to scare me Because I was really in a panic. So when I  Started to become fully conscience and realized I was in my Boss's arms and he kept telling me "it is okay your safe I am here. no one is gonna hurt you" I became more calmer and then ofcourse bursted out in tears. Telling him all I want is to be safe and secure.

He told me " You Will Always Be Safe When I Am Around . No One Will Ever Hurt You"
Which made me feel better  hearing that and made me calm down more. Then my second disorder popped up ( Separation anxiety). This normally doesn't happen after a PTSD Attack but it did this time. Everytime my Boss would want to go get me something to drink or whatever I had distress and panic and all thee above. it was horrible. So We both go do things together. Not to mention My Boss won't leave me a long for a second eaither wise after the me waking up screaming.

My Boss knows about all 6 of my disorders. Which are Bi-polar Manic Depression,Schizophrenia,
Multiple Personality Disorder,Borderline personality disorder,PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder.

Here is A Video Of Mine I Made A while Ago Explaining it and Also In the Description down below my video there are sites to Explain all my disorders so you can understand me better .
So here is my video My Disorders and Friendships 4K ->

 So My Boss knows how to help me through them. Just Like I know his Disorders. We both help eachother out. We are like a support team for one another. I Know I got issues But I wanna help others to .So if you Sweethearts Need someone to talk to or whatever I am here for you. I know how how hard it is to go through this . It is very difficult. I am not on any medications or anything. So I am dealing with this without medications and dealing with it head on . It is difficult sometimes but I am able to handle it. Plus Over the years When I did have counseling in which i dont have even now and havent had for over 2 to 3 years now (mainy because I cant afford it).  I took away some stuff from my counselor that she taught me. So I have been using all coping mechanisms to help me move forward.

Another Good Thing to have is A support System in place. it isn't always 100% Proof Though. When I go through All my options I then resort to my last one which is reaching out to outsiders which is (online people or whoever) which does help but I dont recommend it as you don't know what could happen.  Me I just try to exhaust all my coping skills for before the last one. I am not saying it is a bad thing I am just saying becareful and safe.

Sometimes I wish I had extra money for counseling once a month or so but I got other stuff I gotta worry about first. But to me counseling doesnt always have to be by a professional sometimes just even a close friend could help. I know it has been helping me.I am Just Lucky to have A Boss Who Understands. Not Many People could do what I do Everyday. But I have had to learn to cope with it.

Anyways My Boss And I are gonna go Watch some Movies and Maybe Even Take a walk to get some fresh air. I know he suggested that a few moments ago .So I am probley gonna go take a walk with him. I Just wanted to let you know what happend. But I am alright and fine.

So dont worry about me I Will be okay. Its just another rut or bump in the road. Sides my Boss has an eye on me. So I am good ๐Ÿ˜Š. Now if this ever happened when I was alone the only thing I would've done was call my Boss , then my mom  and the Snuggled in my EC ( My Security Blanket) EC Stands for Christopher Eastmen.  It was my half blood brother I named my blanket after. I have had this Blanket since I was a newborn. My mom always sews blankets over it so I can keep it. I am like Linus from charlie Brown. Where ever I go My EC goes with me.  I dont care what people think about it.  My Boss Thinks its cute. So it makes me feel happy to know at least someone with authority doesnt look at me strange.  Also just for everyones 411  the only difference between Linus and me is I dont suck my thumb and I aint a boy.  LOL ROFL ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜† Thought I would make sure that was clear.

I always feel like I gotta explain myself. My dad installed that in me since birth .He Always made me explain everything. Long story on that one. Anyones I am gonna go for a walk with my Boss. I LoveYou Sweethearts.๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ’Œ๐Ÿ’.

I will Write you laters. Thats why i wrote  Part 1 of 2 because Part 2 Will be later before I got to bed.
Anyways I will Talk to you laters My Sweet Angels Of mine. ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ’Œ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ˜Ž  We are Family Remember that ๐ŸคI Love you.๐Ÿ’ž

Keep Up to date On our Vacation letters ::Look at the bottom of every letter and make sure to follow us on all platforms::

Here is the Link to part 2 of 2 -->
Time for Late Sleep My Darling Angels Part 2 of 2 Letter ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿพ๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜Ž -->


                     ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’– BIG HUGGIES AND KISSES๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

                         ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–Sincerely With Lots Of Love ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

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