This is behind the scenes of All my collections and how i am doing. You find out what i am thinking, my opinions and more. When I said strong willed to be open and honest even if it hurts I meant it . I am tied of being bullied and now i am gonna make it count by blogging and maken a difference in this world.
HELLO MY Beautiful and Handsome ANGELS😇 ,SWEETHEARTS💞 ,HONEYBUNNIES🐇 AND AWESOME FAMILY!😘💋💋💋💋💋💋😉😍🤗
Well Hello 🐇Honey Bunnies🐇 & 😇Sweet Angels Of Mine!😇
😎Well Here Is some great News for everyone! 😊
Just reinstated my Membership with 🎮GAMEHOUSE🏡 So now I got my membership up and running with them *aka Funpass monthly* So worth it. 😊😎 Probley thinking about maken more episodes and trying to finish the let's plays of Delicious - Emily’s Message in a Bottle Platinum Edition .Yes i know its been forever. Chill down 😆🤣*giggles*😜😋😘💋🤗😇😊 Anyways here are the List of The Followen Videos That will be worked on from Feb 28th and on (meaning I am starting my let's play work EARLY Since I got other videos back logged and ready for edit.) I know it doesnt make sense right now but it will soon once you see our plan on how we are releasing the videos. Okay so Here is our Priority List of videos that will be done FIRST since they were being worked on before Other videos bumped them to the side. ---> 1. Delicious - Emily’s Message in a Bottle Platinum Edition 2. 4 Elements II Premium Edition 3. Quest of the Sorceress 4. Sally's Studio 5. Sally's Spa Mysterious List:
1. ? 2. ? 3. ? 4. ? 5. ? 6. ? All mysterious 😈 until each new video is released with a hidden clue to the next new lets play series. We got 6 mystery games that are gamehouse games that will be held secret. You must watch one of the 5 games listed up above to find the clues to the next 6 games that you havent seen on our channel. I hope you enjoy it at much as I am gonna be when I get to show you all the new games!😊😎 Anyways Thought I would post a nice update for those who have been watching my lets plays (My games I play) Gawd I forget how to reference this stuff its been way toooooo long. Also the back logged will be worked on little by little. As I got to make 84,85,86,and 87 Family members videos. I am gonna try to get a head start on all these videos. I dont know when they'll be released But I will keep you posted step by step Like I HAVE BEEN.
At the sametime I am gonna try to relax a little bit too. My neck and back have been given me a little issues. Took a nice hott shower🛀🚿to relax it and now I have been using a heating pad to relax it.
I am being a toughy💪 as much as I CAN be. it seems my body wants to break down on me when it is not suppose to since it knows I gotta go back to work on March 1st,2017. I swear it is like my body is doing a protest or something. 🤣LOL ROFL 😆
Well it can protest but it Still needs to work on March 1st,2017.No excuses I had 1 month of to relax. so I will be delicate with my body and get rest but it still needs to do its job. 😊😆🤣
I should Know better not to tell my body off because knowing it ...it will just fire back at me and be like nope not today you are resting. So i gotta listen to it. I just hope I am raring to go come March 1st ,2017. Which I am sure I will. Since I KNOW if I rest and multi task everything I will be fine.
Watch this knowing my big mouth As soon as I wake up from my night nights I will be achy. Watch me I just know it. Its my luck. I dont ever catch a break. Well whatever happends I will keep you posted. Just dont blame me and my human body that does its 😜weirdy pants👖 things.
All's I do know is all 3 of my boss's are callen me stubborn now since i am trying to be a toughy.
My favorite part is how they keep trying to trick me into relaxing. Although they might win. I dont want it to get to bad or full blown where I am out for another week when i am suppose to go back March 1st,2017.
So Hopefully I can recope before that day and not be out for another week. I will keep you posted though. I am about 85% Sure I will be back on March 1st,2017 . I will write you another letter today letten you know more updates and what to expect. So dont worry sweetys.💞 all things will be fine.
I swear I am so confusing sometimes. I even Confuse myself. LOL ROFL. 🤣😆but its okay it is normal to be unique.😎🤣😆😊
Anyways I Love You Sweethearts💞 . I will Talk to you Sweethearts💞 Soon. I will keep you posted so dont worry 🐇honeybunnies🐇. I aint going anywhere you know me. I will let ya know if anything changes.
I miss you alot and I Love You Alot. I will see you Sweethearts In our next Letter.😊😉😍😘💋💋💋💋💋💋🤗💕💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💟💌💝
Keep Up to date On our Vacation letters ::Look at the bottom of every letter and make sure to follow us on all platforms::
HELLO MY Beautiful and Handsome ANGELS😇 ,SWEETHEARTS💞 ,HONEYBUNNIES🐇 AND AWESOME FAMILY!😘💋💋💋💋💋💋😉😍🤗
Well Hello 🐇Honey Bunnies🐇 & 😇Sweet Angels Of Mine!😇
Well I Got Along Hell🔥 of a day🌞 of me😎. My work💼 actually began last night🌝🌛🌜🌛🌜🌙. So these last few days📅of vacation🏝🏖 isn't spent relaxing😎 it is transitioning😊 and preparing🙄 for our 💼hardwork 😱ahead. Which is by no means is easy as we got lots to do😲. No one ever said my work is easy.🙄One of these days I know my work💼 is gonna drive me insane 🙃I just dont wanna see it when it happens though😑. (I don't mean literally insane eaither .its a metaphorically matter of speech) What I mean is I know my work💼 is difficult and it wont be getten any easier anytime soon.
Soon enough my level will be at difficulty ( like in a 🎮video game🕹)<----Using game metaphor reference) and you know how hard those levels are or how difficult it is to beat those . Not easy.
So you can imagine how hard my work💼 is gonna get. Which is fine I am up for the challenge and I got my boss's beside me so I am good😊. Sides there work 💼 Is beginning to get even more harder.
In Which I find funny. We are all on the same level. But we are all doing different things at the sametime.😎
*giggles*😄😃😊. Anyways As Of Last Night We started Our (Transition Phase) aka Prepping for our work to begin On March 1st,2017 (Aka The day I come back off vacation and begin work Again)😊
There won't be a video out on that day but its the day we begin all of our editing back logged videos again and also recording some new ones. So We got more stuff up ahead and YES 🕹Gaming🎮 is 1 of them. Which I am a little nervous about since its been awhile. But I am sure once I get back into the roll of things Everything will be alright.
😆LOL.🤣 First day of school all over again it feels like it. Today I am gonna reinstate my membership With 🎮Gamehouse🏡. Since I know for sure I am going back to playen video games🎮🕹 again.So Hello old friend I am back. But also Hello Big Fish🐟 As I am back with you too as well.Both Company's will be seeing me again. Looks Like We go an adventurous Adventure we will be going on.Also Not To mention I Will be playen alot more 🚂Steam Games🎮🕹 As well.
But thats not the only stuff will be doing on our channel. as you know me I hate stayen on one topic for 2 long. I Love variety and keeping it interesting.I Love changing things up constantly at times. It keeps me Entertained and Not being bored. ( I get bored easily if no one has Already Noticed it yet)
We dont need anyone bored. We Need Everyone to be entertained. Anyways you sweethearts knows how this goes by now with me 😊. Everyone needs to be happy and entertained if possible. REMEMBER you cant make everyone happy thats the one thing you will learn in life. Which if you ask my opinion I think it sucks but that is how life roles ya know.
Anyways gonna get back to prepping and so on forth. I also got some more meeting today. Who knows what else I got to do.🙄 There is always surprises around the corner and usually what I mean is more work 😐 I didnt expect the last few days of vacation🏝 to be work💼 oriented but it is alright.😃 I know I will get some down time to watch some more (the office) 😊 and (Skin Wars) Another Great series.😎
I will Keep you posted Sweethearts💞 Also another 411 situation if You dont hear anything from me tomorrow ***Which I HIGHLY DOUBT*** As I know I will say something at least but Just incase I dont I wanna make sure I cover this before anything else .Just know I am getten things prepped for March 1st,2017 of me comming back off vacation.😊
Which Like I said I HIGHLY DOUBT which means most likely I am gonna🐣PEEP🐸 about something Just dont know what. Before You say something FROGGIES PEEP TOO😜 They just peep in a different way. its called Ribbits but another word My mom and I call them is Peeps. So 😜
Anyways I Love You Sweethearts💞 . I will Talk to you Sweethearts💞 Soon. I will keep you posted so dont worry 🐇honeybunnies🐇. I aint going anywhere you know me. I will let ya know if anything changes.
I miss you alot and I Love You Alot. I will see you Sweethearts In our next Letter.😊😉😍😘💋💋💋💋💋💋🤗💕💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💟💌💝
Keep Up to date On our Vacation letters ::Look at the bottom of every letter and make sure to follow us on all platforms::
HELLO MY Beautiful and Handsome ANGELS ,SWEETHEARTS ,HONEYBUNNIES AND AWESOME FAMILY!😘💋💋💋💋💋💋😉😍🤗
Well Hello 😇Sweet Angels Of Mine!😇
Well the last few days I have been very busy with Meetings and all. I am so exhausted.Been planning alot of things for up comming videos. One of which is doing my lets plays again ( meaning playen video games like i did before) I miss it.
For Now On I am not gonna do anymore Release dates as it hasn't worked for me before.(Meaning I am not gonna give exact dates out when things are gonna be released).I seen in the past that I always am late. for example : I could say I am releasing A video on April 1 and then come close to that date and not be done with the video. So then later on I release it on July 1st or whenever I get it done. I always run into trouble when it comes to schedules and dates. The thing about my work Is I want perfection and I want it done my way and If it isn't up to my standards then it wont be released . Hence meaning I will work on it longer and so on forth.
Plus If I get depressed or whatever then it really effects all my work. So that can be another reason for a late video. Thought I would let ya know . There are alot of things that can effect my work.
If I put too much pressure on myself to get things done it causes me to stop working all together. which is not productive at all .It just makes me more behind on my work. Luckly My boss's understand and work right along side me as they have similar issues like me.Sometimes it takes someone who understands you to motivate ya.
I Love to work with people who understand me and can work with me . Plus they understand my emotions and so on forth.
Right Now I am still currently Dealing with UNSTABLE SITUATIONS in which I have no control over until things can get fixed ( It will be explained later on . its nothing to worry about right now )
But you know how I am as I worry A Bunch . you know if it was major I would have said something by now about it. But right now it isn't major. So for now we will sit back and relax.
I will fill ya sweethearts💞 In when I can gather all INTEL AKA (Information) on it .Alls I know is right now I got confusing feelings about going back to work on MARCH 1st,2017. Its probley because I am a little scared About being perfect at what I do or if I am gonna do good enough.
its normal it is just nerves. But I will be okay. its just like the first day of going to school when your younger except this is me as an adult going back to work in which I know what the hell I am doing . lol rofl🤣😆. So I am counting down until March 1st,2017 before I gotta go back to work again.⏳😊I am excited and scared at the sametime. 🙃🙄😊😎
Been on a roller coaster🎢 this last week with my feelings🙃😊 and all. Once again another eternal battle. but it seems like everyday now . Plus I have been haven weird dreams latly and PTSD ATTACKS More often. But Thank goodness for my boss's here for me.
My La Boss isn't going back to LA California . He has already decided it. Samething with NY,NYC Boss. Boca raton FL boss is most likly gonna relocate as well. So if they ever have to go back for anything business related they arnt going unless I am with them. Therefore Means I will be not traveling alone anymore on planes. For now On I will be haven my boss's beside me and not just 1 of them. All 3 of my boss's will be beside me when I travel.
Alls things are still being planned. For this Year my goal is to secure a monthly place to live in ( aka) Apartment or house. I hope to achieve a secure income and a more stable life *HOPEFULLY*
These are goals.If it doesnt happen then I am okay with it . As I am already getten use to be unstable as it is. In which is not funny at all if you ask my opinion . Like I said 🎢roller coaster week honeybunnies🐇 I am still going through some 🎢roller coaster emotions.
Things will get better. I just gonna try to relax more. Sorry for the last few days with no letters. I have been going through hell plus I am very tired too. I have been sleeping alot too. Plus my sleeping schedule is out of wack too. That fricken scare tactic on Feb 17th ,2017 didnt help. That shit made me a mental wreck and on the feb 20th, 2017 when things were fixed I was fine. But I am still scared of these people trying to do it again to me. Once monday comes and everything is fine I will be alright.
I still worry if they will try to pull the same issue with me again. but this time I am prepared as I got papers to prove. Yes I am still worried about what happend and YES IT DID TRAUMATIZE me .
I will Try to write you eaither later tonight or early tomorrow. If I dont just know I fell asleep again. Been doing that alot latly. Anyways I am getten sleepy again and I am probley go watch more (the office) with my boss's While Drifting into sleepy land.
I miss you alot and I Love You Alot. I will see you Sweethearts In our next Letter.😊😉😍😘💋💋💋💋💋💋🤗💕💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💟💌💝
HELLO MY Beautiful and Handsome ANGELS ,SWEETHEARTS ,HONEYBUNNIES AND AWESOME FAMILY!😘💋💋💋💋💋💋😉😍🤗
Well Hello 😇Sweet Angels Of Mine!😇
Well Last Night I had Alot of trouble going to sleep as I was very scared as to what was going to happen.But finally I fell asleep about 3am I think ... Anyways I woke up at 6am to get ready to start my day. By 7am My Mom called and my dad was on his way .I borrowed my parents car so I could get stuff done plus Did some errands for my parents in return. Which was a good deal. 😊
6:30am or 7 am I got a call from my Ex Fiancee that he was on his way to the sheriffs station to fix things with the address situation. While that was going on I was getten ready for my dad to pick meup so I could bring him to work so I could have the car.
I then Drove to my dads job dropt him off and then drove to Mc Donalds for a caramel Frappuccino.Then Drove to the location that my ex fiancee and I agreed to meet at.
I then went on a littl shopping spree while I waited for his arrival. Well it was about 8:55am when I knew I was getten pressed for time.So I went back to my car and waited until 9am.
Anyways Then about 9am My day turned into SCOOBY DOO Situation. I am telling ya I haven't ever understood the in one door and out the other door.ya know the door scene.Which I think it pretty funny if you ask me.😆 its like someone always miss's the other one.
Anyways My Ex Fiancee Was suppose to meet me at a place but didnt show up so I took matters in my hands to speed everything up. As I knew I didnt have much time and I WAS out to win and save my home. So I took it upon myself to go visit his probation office and brought them up to speed on what the situation was at hand.
They sent an email to the officer who helps with fixing stuff like that and gave me the number to the sheriffs station. Then at the time I was going there My ex fiancee was driven the other direction in which i didnt have a clue about but I did have a weird feeling that maybe the one car was his. I know this is where the scooby doo thing comes into play.
Anyways first I missed my turn and thenI had to do a U Turn and then Finally I arrived at the sheriffs station.In which when I got there I was prepared to ask what I had to do to fix the Address situation since he doesn't live with me. Well I noticed as I approached the counter That my ex fiancee had already been there ( which mean I just missed him Again!) 😆🤣LOL
At this point it was like a detective movie like I was one step behind solving the case . lol I am sorry I love using metaphores as it helps explain and also if you think about it 🤔 it actually sounds like it too.
Anyways so I asked if they could check there system to see if he fixed it and they told me yes . Plus I asked if I Could have a copy but they told me that my ex fiancee had it . So i told them thanks and went to go towards my home as I was gonna tell the front desk what was all happening.
Well 6 phone calls missed I finally pick up my personal cell phone and my mom told me my ex fiancee was headed towards my place to give them the papers to help save me from being evicted.
So I rushed towards my home. I arrived at the front office and there he was helping me out with explaining the whole situation on what was going on with the address thingy plus SHOWED THEM the paperwork too ... to prove that there is no reason to evicted me at all (SINCE the Sheriffs Station) was haven a glitch with there systems and also they were being updated as of today. Which happends as you all know with any computer system . like i said before "no one is perfect" this right here proves my point. it isnt the sheriffs fault or anyones fault. it is the computers fault.
Computers will always need humans to fix them .thats one thing ya gotta think about when it comes to our future in humanity or anything in life.Not all things can be done by robots. Even they make mistakes. There for you still needs humans to fix them. Anyways I know I just went off topic again.
Anyways so everything was fixed. Ofcourse I did ask the front desk if i was safe .they said yes and then I asked if i could pay my rent and they said yes.I pay weekly where I live. Since thats all I can afford.
Anyways All things are fixed now. so yay us!😊Tomorrow my ex fiancee is suppose to make sure they fix it online the address thingy. We dont need a mishap like that again.Plus he is gonna give my copys of all things Just in case my landlord wants to start issues with me about it again or wants prove. I am not in for another scare "sorta speech" And I will be prepared with papers just incase. ya never know ya know. I dont trust anything at this point. I do know alot of people want the place where I live . Well they can go fly a kite as I am gonna be here for quite awhile.
Anyways Its always good to keep copys of any important papers on hand that way you got a fighten chance ( just like you would do if you went to a court hearing) I have learned alot from my lawyers. Always be prepared as you can be. you can not ever be too prepared. Now there is a such a thing of being unprepared. but it is always best to be prepared for anything. ya know ya gotta try at least to be prepared. You can't always be prepared all the time. As once again As I say you can't be perfect. Anyways All things are fixed so yay us! 😊
I so hope not to ever go through this stress again.it was a nightmare but it got fixed. thats one thing i gotta say. But hey all things turned out happy. which is a good thing . I was so worried about it and now I can relax. 😊
Anyways💞I Love you💖 and I am glad you Sweethearts 💞Are here beside me through this whole mess. I am so glad to have you Angels.😇
I miss you alot and I Love You Alot. I will see you Sweethearts In our next Letter.😊😉😍😘💋💋💋💋💋💋🤗💕💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💟💌💝
Keep Up to date On our Vacation letters ::Look at the bottom of every letter and make sure to follow us on all platforms::
HELLO MY Beautiful and Handsome ANGELS ,SWEETHEARTS ,HONEYBUNNIES AND AWESOME FAMILY!😘💋💋💋💋💋💋😉😍🤗
Well Hello 😇Sweet Angels Of Mine!😇
Time For another Update.😕 I know sorry for being so informal with this letter today. 🤔So from what I know so far is that there is no update on the situation .I have been packing Just Incase . I wanna be prepared .I Will Get this straighten out and it will fix and I will save my home.I will not be moving because I will fix all things and I will save my home. I am very well determined to save my home . I am not gonna lose my home over this Stupidity.
I will Admit I am scared and all. But I gotta keep going I can't let fear detour me and make me paralyze. I will fight the fear and I will win. I have things all set to go and everything Origanize Just incase for both situations. I learned so much from the last time's I had an emergency Situation's where I had to be preparred ( When I lost my apartment and also the hurricane Matthew Situation ). The Hurricane Matthew situation i was unprepared and was hoping that storm would pass but it didnt and put me in Fear.
I remember being paralyze in fear crying because I didnt want to lose more things since I lost everything I already had. I remember the thoughts that went through my head. I kept thinking I Already lost everything in my life I dont have much more I can lose Except my life.But I was hell bent That I wasn't gonna lose my life for anything. I wanted to Live and I still do. I have alot to live for.
At Those Dire Moments I remember I felt like the whole world was againest me since birth. I mean I was dead at birth for a few minutes after being straggled by my umbilical cord. I had complications when I was being born.Since day 1 of being alive I have had The Grim Reaper always at least 1 step behind me waiting for his turn. I haven't had an easy life but I Keep on fighten and I keep going.
Anyways Back to what I was saying. Ofcourse I remember talken to my mom on the phone and panicking and she talked me through packing . I remember telling my mom That," I couldnt do this anymore I can't keep losing things but I know I gotta pack and leave." In which my mom replyed you'll be fine your things can be replaced but your life can't be."I told my mom I wanted to live I was just scared and Was tired of being hurt and losing things all the time. I just wanted to be happy and stable. My mom told me " You Will be fine and to strap my boots up and start packing." In Which I did.
I know I get in moments of panic and all but if i have learned any was to take fear and accept it into my heart and let it become apart of me. I know it sounds weird I learned that if you accept fear that it will lead you to numbness where you wont feel it as much or be scared. No offence but dont follow me on that one it isn't good and I dont recommend it. I Know that is hypocritical But I am stronger then most and I can handle it. I dont need anyone to try to do what I do . I am unique and I have been through more hell then others and seen things that I shouldn't have when I Was a kid.
But Because I went through hell and been back and forth from it I have learned things to help others stay away from it. I am not no super hero I am just me. I can handle certain things that most can't . I am pretty sure I learned it from my dysfunctional family or the bad situations I have been through (aka Experiences ). I still Love my family though. Dysfunctional or not my family still loves me at the end of the day although we do say hateful words to one another at times in anger.
Which I dont recommend because it causes long term mental damages to your relationships with your family and it is hard to come back from. my family is already dysfunctional there is no helping in that. you can only change yourself not them. thats a tip to people who have similar issues like me.
Best Thing I can say is to be yourself and do what you want in your life ( not the expectations of others) Do what makes you happy ( As long as it is safe and doesn't do harm to yourself or others).
I hope that helps ya.
Anyways I just hope the officers👮 help me with this situation. I know for one thing if my ex fiancee doesnt Fix this issue I am gonna talk to🚔🚓👮 law enforcement myself and get help. I just wannabe safe and secure and right now with this going on it makes me feel unsafe and unsecure.
I know for one thing I am SO TIRED Of my Ex's Bringing Drama my way. I Just Hope this can all be fixed. Like I said yesterday or the day before I just want my Tommy (Blogger Series) who will protect me from all this nonsense. There are times I wish I would marry an officer. I think I would feel more safer.
I know by now you are like Alexia Shut up about Tommy. Well I am sorry but I am not sorry because I just want someone like him so 😜. I know for a fact if I ever met a guy like Tommy ,Ken ,or Jimmy I would be able to open up more and feel more comfortable about who I am.
Yes I know I said awhile ago about being yourself and be proud of who you are?.... I forgot what I said and that was like I dont know how many paragraphs ago but I also dont feel like looken up at it . lol🤣😆 Well that helps to laugh breaks me out of the panic phase. I Just dont wanna laugh to much or smile to much or I might get wrinkles . LOL ROFL 🤣🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆😆😅😅
Believe me I have seen it I smile to much or laugh to much It looks like a .... hmmm... I dont know how to explain it but you can see the smile marks. After That Happends I have to make sure I dont smile or laugh which helps. then the smile marks go away and my face is flawless again.
I know how vain .... dadadadada ... blah blah... lol rofl 🤣😅😉😊😜😋😇
Anyways besides all that I Think it is so weird how all of a sudden that ... I dont know . Sometimes I wonder if officers do watch certain videos of mine. For instance like these videos I did in the past and there playlist's -->
And Here are The First Episodes of each one of them: -->
Enforcer EP 1 Why I Shouldn't be an Officer | Enforcer Police Crime Action
Let's Play A Game Ep 1 | Strange Cases - The Faces of Vengeance
Hostile Asylum | 9 Clues - The Ward
So those are the first Episodes of the Series and so on. Yes I know you are probley like what?!No way?! You Play video games? Yes I do to Answer your questions Just haven't in a while because I have been focusing on other projects. I do plan on go back to playen game plays and all. Just not sure as to when Since I got alot of other things to finish. I do Play consoles games and all too.Its Just I lost my consoles along time ago when I lost my apartment so I havent been able to get new ones and I cant afford to eaither. So for now I just play steam games, Big Fish games , Game house games and ALL PC Related games. So for now... All I got is pc games and I am happy with what I got.
I can wait for the other awesome games and consoles. One day I will have everything I lost back but until then I gotta focus on what I do have and not what I dont got. I gotta keep looken forward and pressing forward. it is hard sometimes I will admit to look forward but I keep on going.
Anyways This Last month since I have been on vacation and all and this Scary Situation has got me scared I began to play some video games to keep me calm. Which does help. So I am probley gonna do so lets plays while all this crazyiness is going on. I hope things will be fixed by tomorrow. It should be as I am gonna be get it fix this nutter Situation. I will Keep you posted.
Just hang in there and hang tight as we are on another rollercoaster and I havent a clue as to what is going to happen but what I do know is I aint given up and I will get it fixed. I aint no Peon Iam a strong person. Who even in bad situations can still organize and still get things done even under pressure. Plus for some damn reason now i know how to pack quick too. *shakes head* I dont like knowing that I can do that. It does scare me because It makes me think That I am adjusted to all this kind of shit. I dont like that at all. When I say like in this context it means I hate it .
I know I am confusing but this is who I am. My words can mean alot of things. So this is the reason why I explain myself alot besides that my parents taught me to explain myself immediately for everything I do. My Parents Are complicated which since I was raised by them and others makes me complicated I assume?? Who knows I Just know what I know.
my parents do the samething. they taught me how to be this way. I dont like it sometimes because it just makes others confused. but I have adapted to that style .
Yes I Was raised by others. I wasn't just raised by my parents although they would like you to think so.*raises one eyebrow*🤔
🤔I wonder..... If I Ever meet my one True Love💖 if they would go to counseling with me so I could help them understand me with the help ofcourse my counselor . I think it would be a good idea. Plus it may help a bit since I can be difficult.
I think I just setted another goal for me in my life. YAY!!!!😀
first goal is to have counsling for myself ( because I do need it .not ashamed to admit it).
Second goal if I ever meet my True Love we could go to couples counseling so it would help our Relationship and also help me be able to open upto my partnerwith some help of a professional.
I already got a counselor in mind . I wanna go back to the counselor I use to use as she did help me alot and so did the other woman who did the couples therapy awhile aback. there both useful. Well At least I got some tiny goals.
The funny part🤓 is I DONT GOT A RELATIONSHIP💔 so there for Number 2 goal doesnt exist yet. LOL ROFL😆🤣 As for my counseling it can wait. since 1 I can't afford it and 2 I have other issues to deal with first before I can even think about it. So ....🤔... Well Atleast it is something to think about. so whatever 🤷💁 There is Really nothing I can do right now except chill and relax and deal with my issues as they come. Taken one ......grrrrrr I hate that saying! " One day at a time " boy do I ever hate that saying but it is true only on certain things...🤔
Anyways I am gonna try to go and relax As I have done everything I can do for right now on that damn nutter situation. I am still scared but I am not gonna think about it as I can fix it. I know I can I just gotta relax and know Everything will be okay. Although My Brain is like HELL NO it is not okay as we still havent fixed the issue and then I am like I gotta relax because If I dont I will worry myself sick and I dont need that. SO To help myself Relax I am gonna play some video games to calm my nerves.
I will Keep you sweethearts posted. Sometimes I wonder if all my wishs are comming true. AND NO I DIDNT WISH FOR THIS CRAZYNESS TO HAPPEN. LOL ROFL. 😆🤣 What I mean is I wonder if my wishs I have been wishing for are comming true.... I cant tell you what there are eaither because then they wouldn't come true. but I am curious if they are comming true.
Who knows maybe my dreams and wishs will come true and if they do awesome and if they dont well All i got is myself then.🤔 I dont know what to think when it comes to that part. lol rofl🤣😆
Even I Annoy Myself sometimes. lol rofl. 🤣😆I think that happends to most of us. *giggles*
Anyways💞I Love you💖 and I am glad you Sweethearts 💞Are here beside me through this whole mess. I am so glad to have you Angels.😇
I miss you alot and I Love You Alot. I will see you Sweethearts In our next Letter.😊😉😍😘💋💋💋💋💋💋🤗💕💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💟💌💝
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HELLO MY Beautiful and Handsome ANGELS ,SWEETHEARTS ,HONEYBUNNIES AND AWESOME FAMILY!😘💋💋💋💋💋💋😉😍🤗
Well Hello 😇Sweet Angels Of Mine!😇
Well Last Night was one Hell of a Night . My Heart💖 Began to have issues💓 In which my LA Boss Began to panic but tryed not to as I clinged on to him with worry and fear of what was going on.
Ny Boss Kept talken me through the pain while Boca Raton Boss was trying to get me to go to the ER in which I declined because I knew excactly what was going on with my heart.💓
My NY Boss Called me Stubborn but Strong willed woman. he told me " you dont always have to be strong it is okay sometimes to know when to quit and ask for help. your not alone you got us here honey. we care and love you very much. you dont have to suffer. let us help you"
I told him" hell no .Plus I knew what was going on and I would let you guys know when I was ready to go and if I need too.Alls it is a bubble. its happend before" They were confused on what I meant but I Explained what all it was. Shortly after that I felt sick and ofcourse I got sick.
My LA Boss didn't leave my side for one second. My Ny Boss held my hand while my boca raton boss was panicking and pacing. Every 5 secs he asked if we were gonna head to the ER. Even during the time I was getten sick I told him HELL NO. See even in sickness I am strong. Dont let me fool ya I am stronger then hell at times when people think I am not. I will admit I did get wore out toward the end of being sick. After I was done I brushed my teeth ,gargled and everything. My NY Boss got me some ginger Ale while LA Boss made sure I was warm and comfy . Boca Raton Boss kept starring at me with worry .I Kept telling him everything is gonna be fine and I would let him know if we were gonna go. But I knew I was fine.
At one point I had my Boca Raton Boss come sit by me on the bed and I just Glidedmy hands through his hair to calm him down which did work .Plus he fell asleep right by me holding my hand. Not too much later I feel Asleep listening to LA Boss's heart, while I was fast asleep on LA Boss's chest he fell asleep the sametime I did. then Ny Boss fell Asleep at the bottom of the bed nuzzling my knees. Of Course As soon as I woke up this morning I Had my Boca Raton boss starring at me asking How did I feel and if I needed anything.
Ofcourse I asked him to make me some toast and to get me some ginger ale. While he did that LA Boss was still asleep so I just listened to his heart some more and his breathen which made me drift off to nappers aka sleep again. NY Boss was still nuzzling my knees. Moments Later I got woken up by BocaRaton Boss and I had some toast and Ginger Ale.
Then after all that we all got up brushed our teeth,gargled and the whole nine yards. Later On We drove back to my Main Home Davenport and found out my Ex fiancee had caused some rukus with my address I lived at. ( there will be a video on this and will be uploaded asap.but it wont be fancy or anything it is just gonna be a quick 10 min or so upload without music or anything) Since I got to prepare for a May or maynot be move.
Ex fiancee Drama and Possible Move
I wont know until monday what hell I am in for . *shakes head* So like I thought would happen has happend and now I got more DRAMA WITH MY EX FIANCEE again. 🙄
T shit happends. My Ex fiancee said he would fix what he messed up. AND HE BETTER because I DONT need to lose my home or have to move.
I swear Everytime I try to help people I get screwed over some how. I just dont get it. 🙄
But I know he will fix it as I will be maken sure of it everytime I call him and his Officer.
I dont play games when it comes to my home. What I wish is I could have My Tommy Now that would be nice right about now. I know he would protect me and all. ( sad thing he only exists in my blogger story)
Sometime I wish My Blogger Story was real.Its the only thing that makes me happy anymore Besides my Boss's .My Boss's and Blogger Story is the only thing keeping my happy Anymore. I mean My family members keep going in and out like a rotating door on our channel which does bother me. I Just wish People would stay with our family and Quite Hugging the huggie button then unhuggie it and leaving me.
I guess not all people like me much But thats fine its not like I expect anyone to understand me. My whole world is upside down and is in hell again. Maybe I am not suppose to make any friends or have anyone in my life. ☹ I dont know Alls I know is I am upset. I just wish people would stay apart of our family on our channel. I hate when people keep going in and out. One thing that motivates me is to know I have someone in my life and to me my family on our channel makes me happy too.
3 things that keep me happy ,motivated and still going is My Boss's , My Blogger Story and Our Family on our channel. Not necessary in that order. I already lost alot of things in my life. my Real family is dysfunctional ,and separated.My kids are gone. I am still single and YES I am still bitchy about it. I am tired of everything that can go wrong is going wrong. I haven't gotten 1 break yet in my life where something goes easy. I am still broke (meaning no money). I still struggle with my disorders and I still wonder sometimes If I will ever find my True Love Despite all the shit I have been through.
I do think sometimes Love pushs me through my worst moments and also hope. My boss's help me alot and .... them taken care of me as they have been makes me keep hope that men are still decent out there in the world. I know sometimes I can get pretty upset and put all men in the same boat.But it is only that moment of anger that does it. When that happends I just look at my boss's and read my blogger series and know that there are guys out there like the ones I write about or the ones who take care of me.
I know all men are not the same. I just wish the decent ones would show up . It would nice to be there friends and all. Yes you are reading that right . My feelings are changing and they are opening more up to my uncertain feelings . I wanna know what it is that I am Missing. I know when I am with my LA Boss listening to his heart I do wonder What It Would be like to listen to someone elses heart and fall asleep in there arms. Although Now I Am getten that panic feeling since I wrote that. So No need that feeling. Maybe I Just will stay with my LA boss's arms and listen to his heart beat.
He does seem to have a soothen heartbeat.Alls I know is I get all panic with my uncertain feelings.I can write my feelings like I do with my blogger series and I can nuzzle into my LA Boss's chest listening to his heart to fall asleep and I have no problems. When I am around all 3 of my boss's I have no problems. But when I get around another guy who i dont know or am uncertain about I panic and put a mask on right away ( sorta speech).
It probley because I dont wanna get hurt and plus Because I Dont know who they are or what they are capable of. I do know That right now I am not to happy with the trying to find the right woman for me.Its seems most women I met always want you to have a steady job ,income , doesnt want alot of kids and be very independent. Which makes me run far away from them.
I want a person who wants lots of kids like me (meaning no number at all). I want Someone who will support me and take care of me. someone who will do the samethings My boss's do for me. I want the samethings like I keep writing in my blogger series.I want someone who will follow the True Blood Ring Ritual and do that for me since NO ONE EXCEPT 1 ex gf of mine has done it for me.
I dont care what others say. I am different I am not Independent and I am proud to say it. I am
co-dependent Person. I am a home maker and Thats what I love to do most. I rather Take care of my spouse and our kids ( Cooking ,cleaning, and more for them) then to be constantly empty ,bitchy, souless, uncontent,lost and more. I love our channel and even whenever that day comes along I wanna still work and do what I do now .... alls I want is not to be alone. I wanna actually know what love is instead of always guessing, or being heart broken, angry, sad, envy and others things.
It days Like these when I wish I could have someone to tell That I LOVE them or show affectionate to them. I dont ever think about myself and I dont know how many people notice that. Even now I am always putten myself as Number 2 to something else. anyways..... 😐☹
I am gonna go cuddle my boss. I need to calm down before I cry again. I am so emotional latly more then usual. To Be honest I Am always Emotional and very sensitive. I dont mind it ... its just other people in this world who ....are 😈meany pants👖.. But thats fine At least I got my boss's ,my blogger series and our family on our channel.
yes I AM Upset. I am going through alot again. 😐 its difficult.I am so hoping all of this gets fixed on monday because I dont wanna move again. I just wanna settle down in one place and pay monthly not weekley. I hate liven this unstable life . I want a stable life with a special someone who I can love and they can love me hopefully. .... ya know what I mean....
I wish I Had my Tommy. I wish I could have a stable life and feel secure again.
I wish I could find my True Love....
I miss Getten Huggies🤗 and I miss getten kisses😘💋. It sux not haven any affection. Whoever sez that not have affection and being alone is good CAN GO FLY A KITE AND BE heartless by themselves.
I rather be heartfelt and heartwarmth. I Rather be sensitive ,compassionate like I am .
I rather be me then anyone else because I love me and who I AM. I Just wish I would find
someone who felt the sameway about me ...ya know accepting all of me and have alot of things in commen and want the samethings as i do. I wanna share my life with someone. Just dont know who it is because I haven't found them. plus I gave up looken and I hope they find me to be honest.
I hope someday someone finds me. They usually say when you give up looken for the one they find ya...so hopefully they will find me.. Because I just want my other better half. I want to be complete and not souless. And yes I want my soulmate where ever they are. Because I know when that day comes we would complete eachother. which would make me happy. but until then I will wait and be a cute 👻 ghost until then. 😆🤣😉😊
I will update you sweethearts more Later in another letter. I love you.😍😘💋💋💋💋💋💋🤗❣💓💗💕💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💟💌💝
Anyways I Will most likly fall asleep Like I have been So I Just wanted to let you know a head of time. I LOVE YOU SWEETHEARTS!💞
I miss you alot and I Love You Alot. I will see you Sweethearts In our next Letter. Gonna go listen to my LA Boss's heart beat to calm down and fall asleep.😊😉😍😘💋💋💋💋💋💋🤗💕💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💟💌💝
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